Here’s part 3 of Engrish, and this one is so far the best Engrish I managed to capture in a video. In this video, we’re visiting the public restroom of a Tokyo supermarket. It might be kind of nasty for those of you “clean” folks. Nevertheless, in these nasty circumstances the truth always shines true. Enjoy.

The background music is “Forgive My Penis” by none other than the fabulous Voluntary Mother Earth. If you’re weird enough to like this absurd little tune, come grab it for free by visiting the band’s page here: http://www.voluntarymotherearth.com/freedownload.

More Engrish on its way. Stay sexy and see you soon.

hugs,

Aki
Voluntary Mother Earth

For those of you who don’t know me. I’m a Japanese dude who has spent a good portion of his early twenties in Texas. (And I also run this absurdist rock band called Voluntary Mother Earth.)

Upon returning to this God-forsaken country, I realized how thoroughly fucked up this place really was. Why do you have to post signs in English in a place where more than 90% of people only speak Japanese? And if you must insist on doing such a thing, why do it wrong?

So, as a responsible Japanese man, I decided to start documenting all these weird-looking English signs and present it here for the rest of the world to enjoy.

OK, enough mumbling from me. Here’s a follow-up to my previous post for ya.

“Engrish – Tokyo Streets #2 “Healthy Daily”

Music: “Give Us a Tomato” by Voluntary Mother Earth

So that was it for this time.

Have a good one. Talk to you soon.

hugs,

Aki

Voluntary Mother Earth

This video was shot near my house, on my way back from a rehearsal studio where I’ve been rehearsing vocal parts for my band Voluntary Mother Earth‘s upcoming album.

Now enjoy.

This is one of the easy ones. More hardcore Engrish is on its way. Stay tuned.

PS. Background music is a simplified version of one of the tracks from the new album. If you liked it, come to http://voluntarymotherearth.com and join Right Brain Club to get 5 free downloads from my band Voluntary Mother Earth.

See ya next,
Aki
Voluntary Mother Earth

Just boil the pasta, saute the spinach, and pour 1/4 can of tomato sauce. Done in 15 minutes. That saves me 30 minutes a day, about 3 hours a week, 12 hours a month. That’s over 100 more free hours per year for me to waste on creating noise that a few weirdos around the world, like yourself, might be interested in hearing.

This is what I eat for every lunch. Saves me about $20 a week, almost $100 a month. That means about $1,000 extra per year, which means a new guitar pedal and more recording gear and a few extra 100′s dollars for recording and rehearsing. Good deal!

“Rock n roll in 21st Century is all about doing it cheap”
- Akihiko Hayakawa, from the lyrics to Voluntary Mother Earth’s “Anal Dungeon” (which will be on the next album, coming up in a month or two!)

See ya next,
hugs,
Aki

PS. Sign up to, or tell your friends to sign up to, my band Voluntary Mother Earth’s email list called Right Brain Club and get free ‘rock songs for weirdos’ at http://voluntarymotherearth.com/

That’s right, folks. Wild Health.

What’s that, you might ask.
Well, that’s how Coca-Cola Japan is trying to promote Coke in a country where people don’t even speak English.
Why wild health, and by the way what the fuck is ‘wild health’ anyway? That, I do not know.

In Japan, everywhere you go you can find a whole lot of ads and signs in English that don’t make any sense. I’ll be attempting to take pictures of those and share ‘em with you here as often as possible. Sometimes they are funny, sometimes they are absurd, and sometimes they are all-out fucked up.

Stay tuned.

PS. Pretty soon you’ll be able to catch this blog series on my band’s website (voluntarymotherearth.com). I’m working on it…

Hugs,
Aki
-Composer, Guitar Player, and a Fan of All that’s Absurd-
Voluntary Mother Earth

It had been a long time since I taught or coached, so it was a nice refreshing sort of experience. My advice to them went something like this.

To singer: Stop standing still. Get lost in this orgasmic excitement that is playing live music. Don’t be a singer, be an actor. Forget singing and practice dancing. Practice looking great. Practice being sexy, and you won’t have to sing any more.

To guitarists: Stop masturbating by showing off all your little guitar tricks and save the world of some electricity. Stop rushing and play in time.

To bassist: Stop muddying up the sound by boosting all the frequencies that people can’t hear. Come Clean.

To drummer: Stop being a wussy boy. Stomp on the kick pedal with all your body weight and bang on the snare like you’d the dude that stole your last girlfriend. Stop wobbling and keep the goddamn rhythm. Keep it tight. Keep it real.

When I came in, they sounded like a middle school rock band-sort-of. By the end of the three-hour session, they quickly grew up three years and now they sound like a high school rock band. Now that’s much better.

Next time I’ll try and shoot a quick video.

See you soon,
Aki
Voluntary Mother Earth