Today I went and coached one of the bands in a college rock band club at Seijo Gakuen University in Tokyo.
It had been a long time since I taught or coached, so it was a nice refreshing sort of experience. My advice to them went something like this.
To singer: Stop standing still. Get lost in this orgasmic excitement that is playing live music. Don’t be a singer, be an actor. Forget singing and practice dancing. Practice looking great. Practice being sexy, and you won’t have to sing any more.
To guitarists: Stop masturbating by showing off all your little guitar tricks and save the world of some electricity. Stop rushing and play in time.
To bassist: Stop muddying up the sound by boosting all the frequencies that people can’t hear. Come Clean.
To drummer: Stop being a wussy boy. Stomp on the kick pedal with all your body weight and bang on the snare like you’d the dude that stole your last girlfriend. Stop wobbling and keep the goddamn rhythm. Keep it tight. Keep it real.
When I came in, they sounded like a middle school rock band-sort-of. By the end of the three-hour session, they quickly grew up three years and now they sound like a high school rock band. Now that’s much better.
Next time I’ll try and shoot a quick video.
See you soon,
Aki
Voluntary Mother Earth
